A Masterpiece in the Making

I added another piece to my 1000-piece puzzle, and the more I placed, the less I looked for direction from the vibrant box top tilted on my kitchen table. 

Putting together a puzzle while recovering from my amputation in March 2022.

Most puzzle enthusiasts begin by fitting the edges together to see how much space the project will consume. The corners are the anchor and then the border comes into full view. Once the space is secured, big chunks with the puzzle are tackled - the big red barn, the stone bridge, or the tulip garden. Those easily distinguished items are conquered toward the beginning of the process. 

As more and more of the picture comes into view, the need for the original box dwindles. At this stage, pieces are placed based on their minute details, their distinctive shape, and their slight color variations. What is placed and secured first gives the framework for these later details. 

Parents assist in the creation of the picture their children put together for their lives. In their earliest moments, children need specific direction at every turn. The edges of their lives are placed to give the framework of what a life well-lived looks like. They need to reference often where the boundaries are for their behavior and how to maneuver the simplest of tasks - tying shoes, potty training, and controlling anger - and they constantly look to us for guidance. 

As these foundations are set, chunks of character are carefully clicked together to form the beginning of their world view. A belief placed here and a stance on integrity secured there continue the creation of a beautiful picture being assembled. 

Placing those beginning pieces - the boundaries of their lives - starts them with a defined structure of nice straight edges, but without the framework,  they have to figure out life from the inside out. We must direct them on the path toward an honorable life, ensure they know where the edge and the boundaries lie, and instill in them right from wrong. 

The ancient text tells us concerning God’s statutes, “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and daughters and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” (Deuteronomy 6:7)

As they age and more pieces are placed in our children’s lives, they look less and less to us for direction. They no longer seek our guidance for every aspect of their life’s picture, but they begin to figure out what fits most appropriately in theirs. We desire our children to hold fast to the moral standards of the borders and the chunks of integrity, but within the framework we helped them place, they continue to design a unique life.  

For those parents of younger children, as you drop them off at school this fall or homeschool them, be diligent to set clear boundaries. There is not only safety, but there is freedom knowing that growth and curiosity are fostered inside the edges. 

Those children who are older need our help to assemble the large chunks of their world view. Sit down for dinner and ask open-ended questions of your children. This is the time to discuss why your family believes the way you do. Your family identity must be stronger than any outside pressures that will continue to try and pull them away.  

Maybe the hardest season is when your children pack up their belongings and drive away to college or a job. While your parenting is not done, you are now an advisor on where some pieces of their lives should be placed. They are looking less and less to you for direction but filling in the parts of their lives that will shape how the picture turns out. 

Whether your child is in kindergarten or going away to college, be encouraged by the boundaries you have placed in their lives. Feel confident in the chunks of strong beliefs you have instilled in them. Continue to be present in their lives. And if they end up missing a piece of the puzzle or the assembly of the picture seems to take longer than it should, love them through the process. 

Set a good example and give direction in the various stages of life, and as they pull away and slowly put the pieces of their lives together, watch a vibrant masterpiece appear.